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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040355">Are We Human?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_more_offbeat_anthem/pseuds/one_more_offbeat_anthem'>one_more_offbeat_anthem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Baby, Bike Riding, Broken Bones, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Love Confessions, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Newly Human Castiel (Supernatural), Pet Cat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:40:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,766</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_more_offbeat_anthem/pseuds/one_more_offbeat_anthem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing his grace, Cas struggles with being human. Dean tries to help him out—and in showing the former angel how to find joy in the little things, starts to find joy himself (if he's brave enough to reach for it). And also discovers that maybe cats aren't so bad. </p><p>(Cas gets to stay in the bunker in s9 because I said so. Title/lyrics within from “Human” by the Killers. Highly highly recommend listening to it to add to the vibe of this fic!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are We Human?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>I did my best to notice</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>When the call came down the line</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Up to the platform of surrender</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I was broad but I was kind</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>It was only after they had gotten the (now former) angel cleaned up and tucked into bed that it occurred to Dean….what were they going to do with Cas?</p><p>He and Sam hadn’t talked about it—instead, they had focused on making sure Cas was okay, now that he couldn’t heal himself with his grace.</p><p>And now Cas was two rooms away, sleeping peacefully, and it was past midnight, and Dean had thrown his covers off, unable to sleep, as he reckoned with what to do. Making him leave and letting him stay would put either of them in danger in different ways. But he also knew that, deep down, he couldn’t make Cas leave. Not when the look of pain in the other man’s face when Dean had opened the door had been so evident.</p><p>This was a chance to not be an ass, and to not push the angel away for once.</p><p>Dean knew he would always refer to Cas as an angel, his angel, even though he was human now.</p><p>There was a knock on the door, and then a very soft, “Dean?”</p><p><em>Okay</em>, Dean thought, <em>Guess he’s not sleeping so peacefully. Or at all.</em></p><p>He swung himself out of bed and padded over to the door, opening it. Standing in front of him was a messy-haired Cas in a pair of Dean’s pajamas. He looked…</p><p>“What’s wrong, buddy?” Dean asked, “Bad dreams?”</p><p>“Yeah….sorry……”</p><p>“You don’t have to be sorry. C’mon, I think I know something that might help.” They headed to the kitchen, where Dean flipped on the light above the stove and pulled out a small pot and some milk from the fridge, “Warm milk, does the trick every time.”</p><p>“Is it….really better warm?” Cas asked.</p><p>“I think so.” While the stove heated up, Dean sat across from Cas at the table, “You wanna talk about it?”</p><p>“It?”</p><p>“The dreams.”</p><p>Cas sighed, looked at his hands, ran one of them through his hair, “Is it like this every night?”</p><p>“I wish I could say no. But I’ve got a lot of bad stuff to think about…..and so do you. And now you have to sleep.”</p><p>“You don’t sleep that much.”</p><p>Dean smiled in spite of himself, “But I should sleep more, which is something you’ve always been keen on reminding me. It gets easier, when it’s less fresh, all the bad stuff. But this….I don’t know how much will change for you now.”</p><p>“I can…..no, this is weird.” The timbre of Cas’s voice was uncertain.</p><p>“Can’t be weirder than anything we’ve been through.”</p><p>“I can feel my feelings now…like when I woke up from my nightmare, I felt it—I felt it in my stomach.” Cas put his forehead on the table.</p><p>“Yeah….” Dean sighed, deciding not to tell him about the ache he felt in his own chest seeing Cas like this, “That’s how it goes. But,” he stood up, going over to the stove and pouring the milk into a mug before crossing back and handing it to Cas, “You’ll learn to cope with it in no time, I bet.”</p><p>“Maybe I’ll finally understand you.”</p><p>“Doubtful.”</p><p>It made Cas smile. Dean was satisfied.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And sometimes I get nervous</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>When I see an open door</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Close your eyes</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Clear your heart</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Cut the cord</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>While he had decided that Cas could stay, what he didn’t bank on was coming into the laundry room to discover the same angel laying on the ground, fast asleep, with a….</p><p>Cat?</p><p>Dean shook his head once.</p><p>Nope, that was definitely a cat. An orange tabby with a notch out of one of his ears, and yellow-green eyes. The cat looked a bit thin—much like the man holding him. Normally, Dean didn’t get a lot of good looks at Cas—he didn’t want Cas to notice him staring, but now….he could see the way Cas’s shoulder blades rose and lowered as he breathed. He was wearing another one of Dean’s t-shirts, and jeans, and was on his face…</p><p>Dean knelt down, the cat staring at him curiously, as he put a hand on Cas’s shoulder and gently shook, “Cas? Buddy?”</p><p>“W-what?” Cas rolled over blearily, the ground having left a red mark on his face, “Where am I?”</p><p>“On the floor of the laundry room.” Dean helped Cas sit up, “Can you, uh, explain the cat?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah!” Cas rubbed his eyes with one hand, scooping up the cat easily with the other, “This is Osbourne. He came to say hi when I was sitting on the front steps earlier.”</p><p>“He has a name?”</p><p>“Well, I named him.” Cas cocked his head sideways, “We can keep him, right?”</p><p>Dean took a deep breath.</p><p>He was not a cat person.</p><p>“Sure,” he said.</p><p>(But he was a Cas person.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My sign is vital</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My hands are cold</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Osbourne quickly became a fixture in the bunker. Despite the fact that he didn’t actually really like cats, the look on Cas’s face as he carted the tabby around warmed Dean from the inside out, and Cas had mentioned that Osbourne liked to snuggle, which helped him sleep.</p><p>At the present moment, they were sitting in the library—Cas was reading, with the aforementioned cat on his lap, and Dean was messing around on his laptop. Sam was laying on the floor, reading a newspaper.</p><p>“You know,” Dean said, “You could sit in the chair.”</p><p>“Where’s the fun in that?” Sam asked, not looking up from his newspapers, “You could be doing something productive on your laptop, but we all know you’re just looking up pie recipes or tentacle porn or something.”</p><p>“I don’t—“ Dean spluttered, “Shut up.” He knew that Sam was grinning, even though he couldn’t see his brother’s face through the newspaper.</p><p>“Is it really that enjoyable?” Cas asked, looking up from his book, petting Osbourne with one hand.</p><p>“I said…” Dean sighed. He couldn’t tell Cas to shut up, but…. “Sam was joking around.”</p><p>“Alright.” Cas returned to his book, “But for the record, until a week ago, I could sometimes hear your thoughts.”</p><p>“And you can keep them to yourself.” Dean stood up, “I’m going for a walk.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And I'm on my knees</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Looking for the answer</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Dean, why do you have a bike?”</p><p>Dean lifted his head from under Baby’s hood at the sound of Cas’s voice, “What?”</p><p>“A bike. Why do you have one? Never seen you ride one.”</p><p>“I can’t remember,” Dean replied, wiping his greasy hands on his jeans, “I think it’s from before we came.”</p><p>“Do you know how?”</p><p>“To ride a bike? Duh. What about you?”</p><p>“Uh….” Cas shrugged, “No?”</p><p>“How about I teach you?”</p><p>“Sure?” Cas set down the cat and shooed it back into the bunker, “Why not?”</p><p>Once they had wheeled the bike out into the street, Dean held the handlebars while Cas swung a leg over to sit on the seat, saying, “Okay, so….it might help to have me guide you at first the balancing part is a bit hard.”</p><p>“Surely it can’t be that hard,” Cas replied, furrowing his brow, “I can do it myself. I mean, children can do this.”</p><p>“….They still have to be taught.”</p><p>“Let me try.”</p><p>Dean met Cas’s steely blue eyes with his own, “Fine. But please don’t do anything stupid.”</p><p>“I won’t!”</p><p>He released the handlebars and watched as Cas slowly figured out where to put his feet, and then, true to his insistence, he was going. Dean took about five seconds to be amazed before realizing—</p><p>“Cas! You have to steer!”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>There was a crunching noise as Cas ran headlong into a stop sign, throwing him forwards and into its pole. Dean ran over and helped Cas sit up, “Oh no.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re—you’re bleeding.” Dean raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“It’ll heal in no time,” Cas waved a hand, “That was fun!”</p><p>“No, Cas, it….” Dean sighed, looking down at the ground, “You’re human now, Cas, remember?”</p><p>There was an empty silence between them. Cas blinked slowly, “Alright, cool. I’ll, uh, put this away, see you later.”</p><p>“Cas, wait!” Dean tried to stop Cas, but, despite being grace-less and a bit starved, the (regrettably former) angel was strong enough to wrest away from him.</p><p>When Dean came into the bunker about a minute later, Sam was staring at the retreating form of Cas, before turning his gaze to his brother, “Did you…did you punch him in the face?”</p><p>“No!” Dean ran his hands through his hair, “No. He, uh, ran into a stop sign. On that old bike. And I think he broke his nose.”</p><p>“Well, why aren’t you helping him?”</p><p>Dean scowled, “I’m trying, Sam! But he forgot he lost his grace, and now he’s—ugh.” He stomped out of the room, heading first to grab some bandages out of a first aid kit hidden in the bathroom.</p><p>He didn’t bother to knock on Cas’s shut door, but instead barged in and immediately sat on the bed next to Cas, “Dude.”</p><p>Cas stared at him sullenly.</p><p>“I know you’re….” Dean sighed, “Just a second.” He stood up and left the room, scanning the hallway for—there.</p><p>He entered again a few seconds later with Osbourne in his arms, dumping the cat unceremoniously on Cas’s lap, “Okay, let me try again. Dude, I know you’re upset. I understand—“</p><p>“No, Dean, you don’t.”</p><p>Dean noticed that Cas was, in fact, actively holding Osbourne, and decided to take that as a good sign to continue, “I mean, obviously, I don’t know what it’s like to be stripped of grace. But I <em>do </em>know what it feels like to think I’m a failure and a burden. And you’re neither.”</p><p>“But I feel…” Cas pressed his face to Osbourne’s orange fur, “I feel like a failure. I feel it in my chest.”</p><p>“Feelings can be wrong,” Dean said, resting a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “Stop bleeding all over the cat.”</p><p>Cas lifted his head and Dean continued, “I’ll fix you right up. You might look silly for a few days, but it’ll be worth it.”</p><p>Cas smiled weakly.</p><p>(It was already worth it.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Pay my respects to grace and virtue</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Send my condolences to good</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Give my regards to soul and romance</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>They always did the best they could</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Dean, is it normal to—“ Cas had his head stuck in Dean’s room, where he was cleaning his gun, “—Is it normal to, uh….hm.”</p><p>“What?” Dean looked up at him, “What’s on your mind?”</p><p>Cas’s voice had shrunk, “Realized it was a weird question to ask you…..Don’t you hate cats?”</p><p>Dean glanced over at Osbourne snuggled up against him, “He’s growing on me.”</p><p>“So you’re a cat person now?”</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes, moved onto the next weapon, “Maybe the cat figured out that I like you well enough so he’s decided I’m fine.”</p><p>“I think you’re fine,” Cas replied, the corner of his mouth quirking up. It had been a couple days since the unfortunate biking accident, so he still had bandages (albeit clean ones) on his face.</p><p>Cas came and sat down on the bed next to Dean, reaching a hand out to pet Osbourne, “How do you deal with it all, Dean?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” He didn’t look up.</p><p>“I mean…all these feelings. Like when I was about to ask you that question—I stopped. My cheeks felt hot.”</p><p>“Embarrassment, yeah,” Dean replied, glancing up, “What could you be embarrassed to ask me?”</p><p>“Dean, what does love feel like?” Cas asked.</p><p>“Why do you want to know?”</p><p>“I just wondered.”</p><p>Dean set down the gun and stared at Cas, “What, you think you’re in love?”</p><p>“No comment.”</p><p>“If you think you’re in love with the cat, that’s…that’s messed up.”</p><p>“I’m not in love with the cat!”</p><p>“Hm.” Dean searched Cas’s face, “I dunno. Love feels like…” He swallowed. How could he explain this to Cas, of all people? How could he—“Well,” he started, “There are, uh, different kinds of love. Like, familial love—you’re getting me all mushy, I don’t like this….but that’s for Sam. When I took care of him when we were younger. Everything I did, I did for Sammy. That was love. Is love.”</p><p>Cas nodded in assent, “You’d do anything for him.”</p><p>“Absolutely.” Dean swallowed again, “And that’s how it is with the other kinds of love, too….like, you know the person as well as you know as yourself? Sometimes better, I think—“ he stopped himself.</p><p>“…Is it supposed to hurt?”</p><p>“I don’t think so.” Dean’s throat was dry.</p><p>“Hm.” Cas scooped Osbourne onto his lap, “Interesting.”</p><p>(Dean sometimes thought he knew Cas better than he knew himself.)</p><p>(He <em>knew </em>he knew Cas better.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And so long to devotion</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You taught me everything I know</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Wave goodbye</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Wish me well</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You got to let me go</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Gimme that,” Dean said, snatching the whisk out of Cas’s hand, “You’re doing it wrong.”</p><p>“How could I <em>scramble eggs</em> wrong, Dean? I haven’t even gotten to the cooking part yet!”</p><p>“It’s the principle of the matter—“</p><p>“—It can’t be that hard.”</p><p>“That’s what you said before you broke your nose.”</p><p>Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, “And?”</p><p>“I,” Sam said from the kitchen table, “Am wondering when you two will stop arguing like an old married couple and actually make breakfast.”</p><p>“We’re not—“ Dean sighed, “Once feathers over here learns how to scramble eggs, it’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you turn the stovetop on, Dean?” Cas asked.</p><p>“Shouldn’t you—never mind.” Dean turned on the burner, “You’re right.”</p><p>“Ooh, Dean admitted someone else was right,” Sam said, “You should savor this moment, Cas—it may never happen again.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My sign is vital</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My hands are cold</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Hey Dean?”</p><p>Dean glanced over at the (not) angel sitting on his bed, next to him, “Yeah?” He had convinced Cas that he needed to be exposed to Dr. Sexy, and that it would change his life. So far, Cas didn’t seem like he was buying it.</p><p>“Could you…” Cas sighed, “Never mind.”</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Dean paused the episode, “You can talk to me.”</p><p>“I just don’t want to upset you….” He sighed again, “Could you….stop calling me things like ‘feathers’ and stuff? It just….reminds me that I’m not an angel anymore.”</p><p>“Of….of course. If it’ll make you feel more comfortable.”</p><p>“It would.”</p><p>“Then consider it done.” After leaning forward to unpause the show, Dean semi-consciously took Cas’s hand in his own.</p><p>(Cas didn’t pull away.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And I'm on my knees</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Looking for the answer</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“What’s the plan?” Cas asked.</p><p>“We leave in an hour,” Dean replied, shoving a few things into a duffel bag, “Should be pretty routine, though.”</p><p>“Sam coming with?”</p><p>“No, he’s got more research to take care of, thinks we can handle it.”</p><p>“Can we?”</p><p>Dean glanced up at the note of uncertainty in Cas’s voice, “Of course we can handle it.” He stood up, clapping a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “You’re one of the best hunters I know.”</p><p>“I’m not really a hunter.”</p><p>“Who says?”</p><p>Cas shrugged lamely, “I dunno. I’m gonna go see Osbourne before we leave.”</p><p>An hour later (after Dean had checked and re-checked that Cas wasn’t trying to bring the cat with him—over his dead body would there be a cat in Baby), they were on the road. Dean kept fiddling with the radio, and finally Cas went, “Could you stop? I’m getting a headache.”</p><p>“Of course. I think I’ve got some pain meds in the back. When we pull over, I can get you some.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>They drove on in silence, with Cas pressing his forehead against the cool glass of the window, until finally Dean asked, “Are you alright? Besides the headache?”</p><p>“Just thinking a lot…never <em>thought </em>this much before.” Cas was half-mumbling.</p><p>“Well, get used to it, I guess.” Dean sighed, “I, personally, try not to think.”</p><p>Cas turned to him, grinning, “I know.”</p><p>(That smile? That was good luck. Liquid gold.)</p><p>(Dean swallowed.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Will your system be alright</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>When you dream of home tonight?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>There is no message we're receiving</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Let me know is your heart still beating?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>A few interviews and fake IDs later, they found themselves prepared to visit an abandoned barn the next morning. For now, Dean flopped on one of the two twin beds in the crappy motel room, closing his eyes. Cas had gone straight into the bathroom.</p><p>How could he….?</p><p>Dean hadn’t been honest when he had answered Cas’s question about love.</p><p>Because love?</p><p>If it was unrequited, or if the person you cared about was in pain, that shit <em>hurt</em>.</p><p>He tried not to think about how it felt in his chest to see Cas’s eyes wrinkle at the corners when he smiled, how well he went about, searching for what would make Dean smirk at him or roll his eyes. And now, the slight crook in his nose, where the break hadn’t healed properly…if anything, it made his angel more charming.</p><p>There he was again.</p><p><em>His </em>angel.</p><p>How?</p><p>He wondered how Cas had come about the love question. Who could he be in love with in the bunker? Or was he in love with someone else, that they had met before, and now he was realizing it?</p><p>There was a flush, and then water running, and then Cas stepped out of the bathroom, running his hands through his hair, “Dinner?”</p><p>“Right.” Dean sat up, “I think I saw a diner on our way in.”</p><p>“Better than nothing. It’s weird, honestly…” Cas smiled wistfully, “I actually <em>crave </em>certain types of food. It’s….interesting. Nice?”</p><p>“Which one is it, buddy?”</p><p>“All three?” Cas shrugged, “Whatever it is, let’s go. I <em>know </em>I’m hungry.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My sign is vital</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My hands are cold</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And I'm on my knees</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Looking for the answer</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>“Can we pull over?” Cas asked after they had polished off burgers with pie for dessert. They were in the middle of nearly nowhere on the way back to the motel.</p><p>Dean glanced at Cas, “Something wrong?”</p><p>“No, I just…see that hill?” Cas pointed out the window.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Looks like a nice place to stargaze…can we?”</p><p>“Sure.” Dean smiled, knowing that Cas couldn’t see him, “Of course.”</p><p>The climb up the hill from the side of the empty road wasn’t too difficult, and once they were up there, Cas flopped down on the ground. Dean spread out next to him, taking a moment to steal a glance at Cas. He had been wearing clothes borrowed from Dean (Sam’s were too big) ever since he had become human, and while he missed the suit and trench coat, it was also nice to see him looking so…normal. Plus, he was starting to fill out Dean’s old band tees better than he had a few weeks ago. The cooking lessons were getting to him.</p><p>“I miss….” Cas sighed, “This is dumb, but I miss…knowing everything. Being able to sense things.”</p><p>“I mean, you can sense from, like, bodily cues.”</p><p>Cas shifted, “I can, but not as well as the rest of you can. I used to be able to sense other people’s feelings….especially yours.”</p><p>“With the creepy mind-reading?”</p><p>“I didn’t read your thoughts all that much, Dean. More of the whole….I felt when you were upset, or when you were experiencing longing, stuff like that.”</p><p>“Ah,” Dean swallowed, looking up at the velvety blanket of stars spread above them, “I see.”</p><p>“And it’s different now, I just have to guess and hope for the best.”</p><p>“You’ve done pretty well.”</p><p>“I hope I’m not wrong.” Cas is oddly silent, and then Dean realizes—he’s crying.</p><p>“Cas?” Dean rolled to face him, even though he could only see the outline of Cas’s face in the moonlight, “You alright?”</p><p>“I’m—“ Cas took a deep, sniffly breath, “Fine. Just got a little…emotional.”</p><p>“Happens to the best of us.”</p><p>“I’m not the best of us.”</p><p>“Cas…Jesus.”</p><p>“I’m not—“</p><p>“<em>I know. </em>Listen to me. I’m…you are the best of us. I can’t choose between you and Sam to be at the top of my list, so you’re tied.”</p><p>“I’m like part of the family?” There was a dip of sadness in Cas’s voice.</p><p>“Yes…no…”</p><p>“Which one?” Cas sounded vaguely hurt.</p><p>“I mean….” Dean lay back down to stare at the stars again, “You’re part of my family, but not for the same reason as Sam.”</p><p>“Because I’m not blood.”</p><p>“You know that family doesn’t end in blood, or start with it either. But that’s not what I was getting at….”</p><p>It was now or never, he knew.</p><p>And so Dean barreled forward, “Remember when you asked me if love hurts?”</p><p>“You said it didn’t.”</p><p>“I lied. It….it can hurt if you’re not sure the person loves you back. And it can hurt to see the person you love hurting,” Dean’s throat felt dry, “It hurts to see you hurting.”</p><p>“Because you—?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>There was a period of silence, spread out in the darkness, before Cas said, “Can you….I want to…”</p><p>“Hear me say it.”</p><p>“If it’s not too much.”</p><p>“I don’t love Osbourne. But I do love you. And I love how you smile when you look at him. I love how dorky you looked trying to ride that bike. I love messing with you when we cook. I love how even without your mojo you still know what’s on my mind, and how to pry it out of me, I…”</p><p>“I get it, Dean.” Cas’s hand found his in the dark.</p><p>More silence.</p><p>“For what it’s worth,” Cas whispered, “I love you, too.”</p><p>“I sure hope so.”</p><p>(They didn’t leave the hill for a while.)</p><p>(When they did, Dean’s lips were tender.)</p><p>(For a former cosmic entity, Cas was a good kisser.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You got to let me know</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My sign is vital</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>My hands are cold</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>And I'm on my knees</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Looking for the answer</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Are we human</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Or are we dancer?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
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